Counselling: Are you ready for it?

"Doctor, I need counselling. The previous doctor was not good. I asked for counselling, but she kept giving me assignments, homework and tasks. Didn't help me at all! 

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The client in question was undergoing some issues pertaining to work-life imbalance. He searched on google for the solution and found counselling as a way out. He chose "Best psychiatrist near me" and went to the doctor and asked for counselling. 

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The doctor after examining him and consultation with her team of psychologists and counsellors realised that most of the issues were due to his inability to mark boundaries between the personal and professional domains of life. 

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He was then advised certain tasks which would help him in managing his time effectively, handle stress, detect stressors, and prioritise. These tasks, would help him calm down, which would be a stepping stone in him sorting his life and work balance on his own.

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He was however not happy with this, as this was a lengthy process and not a one stop solution or advise as he has expected it would be. 

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This is a common experience shared by many after counselling. This is simply because, their expectations from counselling, and reality of counselling are vastly different. Counselling is not just listening, or not giving ready advise on complex questions like work-life problems, relationship issues, suicidal ideations, depression, midlife crisis, career counselling and many more. Counselling is a multi-step process, that involves: 1) listening about the problem and allowing venting of emotions, 2) understanding the client as a whole, 3) formulating the real reasons for the problems to have arisen, 4) help mitigate the distress associated with the problem and 5) guide the client to fix their own problem healthily. 

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This often needs some time, and requires some qualities to be present within the client such as: 1) open mind, 2) patience, 3) ability to reflect, 4) ability to introspect, 5) ability to accept and 6) ability to change. 

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It is difficult for everyone to have all these qualities in equal strengths. So, the psychiatrist, or psychologist, or counsellor will make custom made solutions for each client keeping their strengths and limitations in mind. This takes time. If the client is ready to accept these limits and still go for it, it will definitely help them and will be associated with significant personality growth and improvement of mental health in general.

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It is understandable that clients want to get better with counselling. It is however necessary that they understand what it involves, and its limitations, only then will it really be of help to them. 

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